She called last night, harping.  She asked me what I thought.  I said I'd rather not know anything about it.  Why not, she asked.  Because I can't do anything about it, I answered.  But I think it's good for you to know, she said, so you know what kind of creature you're coddling.  I said, are we done?  She said, OK, bye, and hung up.

She can't confront him directly, so she confronts me.  I have nothing to do with the situation.  Well, ok, I sympathized with him in the beginning, but that was it.  I've moved on. She, quite obviously, has not.  She has to lash out at someone, so she lashes out at me. 

Yes, the situation is hurtful and it does affect many people, myself included.  But this is between him and her. No one else can fix it for them. We are, at best, bystanders, at worse, collateral damage.

But you know what really gets to me?  It's that the crests and valleys of my relationship with her are defined by her relationships with other people.  She shares none of my joys, because she simply isn't interested.  My stuff is much too geeky and boring.  She is only interested in high drama. That's all that gets her attention. 

You know what's tragic?  The flimsiness that is our relationship is actually pretty harmonious.  But instead of just being grateful for small mercies, she has to trash these blessings like the proverbial bull in a china shop. If she's going to be angry or upset with me, let it be for something that I have actually done. 

You know what's pathetic?  I've spent so many years compensating for other people's transgressions.  I go the extra mile to support her, to stand by hers, to please her.  And she says I'm coddling him?  I think she has it backwards. 

I'm really sick of being her whipping girl for everything that's wrong in her life.