Went to see Meet The Fokkers (MTF) tonight. Not really my kind of film. Meet the Parents was ok in a toe curling kind way, with one or two set pieces almost as good as the ones in, say, Home Alone II.

MTF is different. Good things about the evening: the seat was comfortable. I had some peanut M+Ms. Some of the trailers and advertisments before the film were mildly diverting. Bad things about the evening: Virtually everything else. Ben Stiller looked very uncomfortable, as if he knew what kind of movie he was in. Robert DeNiro pulled an expression which resembles (as far as I can tell) severe constipation and managed to hold it for almost the entire film. Which if you think about it must have been quite hard work. Dustin Hoffman looked as if he knew what kind of film he was in, but was beyond caring. Barbra Striesland played the most sympathetic (that is to say human) character. And the other two ladies I have virtually no recollection of at all. Except that one them was Stillers' fiance and the other was DeNiros' wife. Oh and there was an annoying dog and an annoying cat. And a big motor home. And the word Fokker apparently resembles another word. A fact that is so hilarious that it needs to be hammered down our throats again and again.

Sorry folks, but it did nothing for me.

Update: I've just heard that MTF has done great business in the USA with over 220M worth of box office so far. Oh well. Just goes to show what I know. Apparently a third movie is currently at the planning stage, and I can exclusively reveal the plot to you here and now:

The movie starts as Gaylord Fokker (Ben Stiller) takes his newly born son, who they have named "Crazy", home from the hospital and, after an hilarious sequence involving a toilet, hand grenade and persian cat, is kidnapped by some of Jack's old shady CIA adversaries for no reason that is ever adequately explained.  To get them back Jack (Robert DeNiro) and Gaylord's Dad (Dustin Hoffman) must team up to find the baddies. Jack must disguise himself as a Taxi Driver, Boxer and finally Mafioso in order to infiltrate the gang. But all comes to nothing when everyone is captured and placed in the same cell for some bonding. Fortunately Gaylords mum (Barbra Striesland) is a former trained Navy Seal Ninja Warrior and breaks in to release them all and bond some more. And that's it. The movie will be called "Where's the little Fokker gone?".