This is suppose to be a secret but i'll tell it anyway.....I got this weird dream, and this happened before the week of the start of my second sem in my 2nd yr. I was riding a "trisicad" with my classmates, they were in the front seat, we were in the back. We were talking to each other, sharing our point of views, our similarities but the next thing i know, i felt this weird feeling...the feeling of being inlove!!...As the trisicad stops at the front gate of her house, she gave me a gentle kiss on my lips.

This may sound unreal to you but its up to you wether you believe it or not.  I had this dream twice although the scenario was different  but the ending of each dream was the same, at the end of it, I got kissed on the lips.

It  all happened a week before the start of the first semester in my first year. I described my first sem as fun, fun to say as meeting new people, learning new stuff but when love came, I was suddenly shrouded by darkness and all hell breaks lose! I don't want to elaborate how it all happened but i was heartbroken and my heart was broken into pieces.

I had the same dream again, it was before the start of the second sem in my first year but this time, the place was different but the ending was still the same. Second sem was still cool, learning new things, meeting new people again, learning to deal with much bigger problems in school but thanks to "love" it ruined my second sem all because i fell inlove all over again.

Now is my dream a warning? I don't know!!!...you tell me!!!...but something smells fishy here, I think i'm probably gonna fall inlove again but i hope not!! that would be ridiculous! I don't want to fall inlove again 'cause love will only devour me and then spit me out! I'm not a hyprocrite, I do want to fall inlove but the other part of me doesn't want to, scared maybe? I don't know...and I don't want to apprehend.

I guess its true when they say that Virgo's are sensitive and capable of great love. I'm pretty much aware of it & i can't deny it........

Well!! this is kind of suprising... I would've never thought i would make my own blog, weird? This is my first blog & I'm quite uncomfortable & a lil'bit of uneasy for me to write down my thoughts 'cause maybe i'm afraid to show who i really am & what I think. People often describe me as a loner. One classmate told me that she observed that most of the time, she see's me just sitting around the corner, silent, as if i we're carrying the problem of the whole human race and wants to know what is in the mind of a Steivene Quintana. And one classmate told me that he can read me like a book, maybe because siya 'yong taong sinasabihan ko ng mga problema, mga sekreto at mga hinanakit ko but you know what? There's a lot to me na hindi pa nila nalalaman, he can read me like a book? well, he better read again 'cause this is a "lost chapter" that needs to reads about.

I want to start my blog with a question...Do we need to live?...It's not even a hyphothetical question right? but the reason why i asked this question is because my life has been a blur. I have ran out of reasons on why i should continue to live. "I'm so completely torn, it must have been that yesterday, it was the day that i was born." Nothing could've prepared me from the things that happened in my life this past months. I even got to the point that i tried to blame GOD and questioned his authority. "'cause i am barely breathing."

I have underachieved a lot of things because of this "things" & i felt all this time that i was under a cloud meaning distrust, distrust to oneself. "Nothing left to reason, only left to blame, will it ever changed?"....oh! what have i become? This feeling of uncertainty, I can hear my soul crying, being tormented by the darkside. "Everyone keeps asking  what it's all about? I used to be so certain and i can figure it out."

"We are constantly on a war, war with terrorism, racism but most of all we are on a war to ourselves." I just want to shout Jesus walk with me! "God show me the way because the devil is trying to break me down & the only thing that i pray is that my feet don't fail me now."

Through my blogs, i will slowly unmask who i am. "Lahat tayo ay mayroong pagkakaiba, sa tingin palang ay makikita na, iba't-ibang kagustuhan ngunit isa'ng patutunguhan."

I will always remember that all things happens for a reason, that there is a bright future waiting for me ahead, that "he" knows better than i.

"Pakita mo ang tunay na kulay at kung sino ka, mayroong mang masama at maganda, wala namang perpekto basta magpakatotoo."

This is who i am....

NOte: The following quotes are lyrics of various artists.